Hell Happens
by ac1452
Summary: Klaus a spy, Dorian a thief, after a chase in Brazil they end up in Diablo 2 world. While looking for a way out of this world they have to complete the quests. Homosexual flirting, its Eroica the thief we're talking about you know.
1. The Chase

_I do not own anything. Will update soon. Enjoy._

* * *

"Come on! We don't have time for you to be clumsy you idiot!" said Klaus, while grabbing Dorian's arm and pulling him up from the damp floor to keep moving. They were running for their very lives somewhere in the outskirts of the Amazon in Brazil.

"Major…ah… there's too many of them, I don't think we're…"

Dorian was breathing hard, but the Major just pushed him forward.

"I don't care what you think, stop talking and keep running!"

Dorian didn't need more encouragement.

Both of them were very tired, but they could not afford to slow down since their persecutors were rather athletic and very decided to kill them. This was probably the most stupid mistake Klaus had ever done in his life.

Good news was that the mission in itself was complete. They had gotten the USB with the information about human slavery, and the only thing that they had to do was to capture the owner of the USB that was escaping. Klaus being very proud of his physical condition decided to chase him through the jungle all by himself thinking that in mere minutes he would catch Kulebra. Dorian followed him because Dorian is an idiot that wanted to see Klaus being the king of the jungle and what not. The thief actually explained all that, and Klaus was rather kinda tired to debate with him; besides if he gets lost, then better for the rest of us living creatures of the world. From the raid of Kulebra's little house in the middle of the Amazon, where Klaus and the Alphabets found the USB, Dorian also got a Golden and Silver Lizard with sapphire stones all over its body, with which he fell in love at first sight, and now he was carrying it with him.

So what was the mistake that Klaus had done? First, he underestimated Kulebra's physical stamina; the man was just as athletic as Klaus, so he eventually could not catch up with him as he thought he would. Second, it was a trap. After a moment of pursuing Kulebra, Klaus and Dorian (who was falling behind and making Klaus slow down too, yes he waited for the thief but he won't admit it), realized that they were actually being chased by Kulebra's henchmen. So after completely losing Kulebra, Klaus and Dorian found themselves being chased by Kulebra's henchmen. Their cellphones were useless because there was no signal, and to top it all of they were being hunted in an unfamiliar terrain, so they were pretty much fucked up.

Dorian gasped at the sight that appeared in front of him. It is only now that he realized that they may not make it this time.

_No, this cannot be happening NOW!_

The place was like the paradise he always dreamed of coming to once the Major finally admitted defeat. In front of them was a mid sized tranquil lake and at the very center a rather small waterfall with many "step" rocks beautifully eroded with the water, all surrounded by greenery. What made everything so surreal was that ghostly rainbow that protruded from the waterfall a little bit to the right side. But such a delightful sight was never this frightening. The waterfall was like a mid circle and there was no way to go around it but to back down and meet their persecutors. From here you could see there was a cave just a little to the left side of the waterfall. They were trapped. Dorian hated that he got to be in amazing places that others would kill for to go, with the blessing presence of his beloved, but never in the way he wanted it to be. _So close, and yet so far._

"Fuck this!" The major growled under his breath.

"Major…"

"Shut up, get in and swim, we couldn't have gone far, meaning, that this cave should be one of those caves that are connected to each other through underground tunnels".

Klaus pushed Dorian to the lake and both of them started swimming.

When they were about to reach the waterfall, they heard their persecutors arriving and jumping to the lake so they could catch up. When Klaus and Dorian reached shore, both of them realized that the mouth of the cave had a strange resemblance to the mouth of the lizard Dorian had.

Both of them dripping wet and with water to their ankles, stepped silently to the cave and started walking through the only path it had.

The cave was moist, and along with their splashing you could hear running water everywhere. Neither Klaus nor Dorian could run because the floor had many stalagmites, while the ceiling was fully covered with stalactites and rather dangerous looking. Of course, the ceiling gave many possibilities of how to get rid of their persecutors but was very risky, besides there was no way to know if the rocks would actually fall or not.

Now, they reached a big space that had three entrances.

"Do we know which cave is the one that leads to the other caves?" asked Dorian, not so tired anymore, and walking-skipping rocks was rather recovering.

"No, we're just gonna have to pick."

"All right" Dorian put one hand on his waist, the other pointing at the entrances and started counting "Eeeny, meeny, miney, mo" and then asked, "Which one do you want Major? Eeeny, meeny, miney or mo?"

That's where they heard their persecutors, they were getting nearer with every instant.

"I'll take mo" said Klaus.

* * *

There was something really wrong with this cave. As Klaus and Dorian were going through their "mo" path, the water below them was taking a nice light blue color. That is only supposed to happen in ocean caves, not river caves.

What's more, there was no way that light could penetrate this path, yet they could see clearly, it was as if the water itself was giving light blue … light.

However, for some reason their persecutors were getting closer to them, and the cave made their sounds even clearer.

That's where Klaus saw something. It was light blue light coming from a crease in the right wall, he wouldn't have given it much thought, but he had a hunch that that light was their way out, and their way to safety. Klaus always listened to his hunch.

"In here." He pushed Dorian to the light.

The crease was very narrow, but they could fit sideways.

"Where are we going?" asked Dorian

"I have no idea but I doubt they will see this entrance, so keep going."

The blue light keep getting stronger and stronger, and both of them could hear that their persecutors reached the place they were before and were going straight. Just when Klaus was thinking about backing up and maybe getting around the henchmen so they could get back to the jungle, the floor disappeared below his feet.

"Major!" A screaming Dorian instantaneously grabbed Klaus by his coat and pressed himself against the major.

The major could do anything about it because that's when he lost consciousness.


	2. Another World

**Chapter 2 **

**Another World**

_Uncomfortable, cold, and …the floor? What am I doing in the floor?_

Dorian opened his eyes and saw the Major sitting besides him looking at him. He was lying in what looked like a square made out of stone with a carved X protruding out of a circle. There was blue fire on each end of one of the lines that made up the X. _Probably some kind of gas that makes blue fire. _The rest was just meadow; grass everywhere except for a tree here or there. It was no longer 100 degrees hot, and impossibly humid. Actually, there was rain coming, since the sky was rather cloudy, much like his home country England.

"You OK?"

Memories flowed to Dorian's mind. There was no sign of their persecutors.

"I think so."

Sitting straighter, Dorian mentally checked his body for any injuries. None discovered, he tried to straighten up his clothes and hair, and made sure he still had that beauty of a lizard.

"Are you all right?" He asked. He had mixed feeling about repeating Alaska all over again, it's not like he wanted the Major get hurt just for his entertainment, but then a wounded soldier was an appealing sight.

"Yeah I'm fine."

It looked like the Major decided to rest a bit in this weird squared stone with blue fire. Dorian was still a bit tired from the chase so he decided to follow Klaus' actions and kept on sitting beside him.

"How long have I been out?"

"I don't know, I woke up just seconds before you did."

So, Klaus did not carry him, pity.

"Do you know where we are?"

"I don't have the slightest idea."

Then after five seconds of observing his surroundings, it struck him. _That took a while, I must be getting old. _"Major, how can the weather and the landscape change so suddenly in Brazil?"

And then it struck him again, and he felt the tiniest traces of panic set in him, "Major…" and he noticed how his voice got desperate with each word "How come we were falling and there is nothing above us?!" Looking around, Dorian got nearer to Klaus. "Where are we?"

That's where the Major took Dorian by the collar "Look, thief, either you shut up and let me think, or I'll shut you up and beat you up so you don't think anymore, understood!?"

There were few things that would distract Dorian from looking to the Major's Emerald eyes from this close, and this one was definitely one of them.

The major saw in Dorian's expression that the fight was over and that something was behind him, so he turned around.

_Impossible. _

In front of them was a tiny but sturdy human dwarf like creature. It was red, like hellboy (yes, both of them saw the movie), it had a funny hairdo with a ponytail but bald everywhere else except for two big light brown horns in its forehead. It also had bid ears that were pulled back. It was wearing what looked like a skirt, and wrist and shin protectors. What was ever weirder was that fact that it appeared to be armed. Oh yeah, it had what looked like a sword, but then he was still a little far from them.

It saw them, and started to approach them, even his walk was funny, all wobbly like.

"What is that?" said Dorian completely forgetting his worries and curiosity taking over since right now the creature did not look dangerous.

"Don't get near, it looks dangerous." commanded Klaus.

"For you everything looks dangerous." murmured Dorian.

That's where Dorian noticed that the creature's eyes were shiny red and that its sword was filled with blood.

Both Klaus and Dorian got to their feet, Dorian safely behind Klaus, and the later pulled out his magnum, and aimed to the approaching creature.

"Police Official, whatever you are, very slowly put down your weapon, and stay where you are." When Klaus did not have other choice he said he was the police, he even had an ID.

The creature responded with what sounded like a grunt and kept approaching them, now preparing his sword that was half his size to strike them.

"Stand back or I'll shoot!"

Klaus and Dorian started to back down, and the creature did not seem intimidated at all by the weapon Klaus was pointing at him.

Klaus shot to the ground to show the creature what he was talking about.

The creature got startled and jumped with a little squeak because of the sound. It gave three steps back, looked at the ground, looked at Klaus, lifted its sword and gave what must be a war cry that sounded like "Back Off!" and started approaching them again.

Klaus felt Dorian giggling behind him "Did it just told us to fuck off?"

"Idiot"

The creature was now very close and with a growl struck Klaus with the sword it had, missing its target completely, of course. Klaus used his weapon to hit the creature on the neck and therefore render him unconscious.

"So I guess that means we're not in Kansas anymore?" When facing something he did not know, Klaus was a rather composed man; so Dorian tried not to panic again, and kept calm as well.

Klaus very promptly started looking for useful things the creature might have.

Then he looked up "Calm down, we'll find a way out of here."

Then he kept searching. "True, we don't know where we are, how we got here or how to get out of here. But this…thing proves that there is some kind of civilization here, and hopefully we'll find humans as well. We can't be the only ones in here."

"So we might have stepped in some kind of portal, magical tunnel or entrance, and ended up in here."

Klaus just nodded, "If you don't want to go insane, don't think about it too much; you're crazy enough already."

Dorian smiled, Klaus definitely knew how to cheer you up in his own rough way.

Dorian made sure there were not any more of those things near. He did not see any so he inspected the creature. Its skin looked rough, it had protruding shark like teeth, its nails were black and long, more like claws, and it did not use shoes.

Klaus did not find anything on him besides the sword which he gave to Dorian.

"We cannot tell if well find one of these later, better be prepared for anything."

With that they started walking.


	3. Elexa

**Chapter 3**

**Elexa**

After walking for a bit, Klaus and Dorian came back to the little square with blue fire to inspect it a little more since it was there where they woke up, but it rather brought more questions than answers. The "horny dwarf" as Dorian came to call it much to Klaus' objections disappeared without a trace.

During this time, they decided to look for more creatures and (hopefully) humans, look for places where they could stay, hunting grounds, fruits that might grow on trees, and get used to the idea that they could spend some amount of time here and that they would have to survive however they could; an idea that delighted Dorian because he was an idiot, and terrified Klaus because he hated idiots.

Now both of them were passing some bushes when they saw yet another little horny guy but this time he had a bunch of friends with him including what looked like their leader. This "leader" had bigger horns, longer skirt, and what looked like a staff that had things attached to it. Klaus was already with his weapon ready to shoot and Dorian, even though he had a sword, took his favorite place: right behind Klaus.

"Major, something tells me that they will react exactly like the other little guy we crossed path with today." Dorian whispered to Klaus' left ear, which made Klaus jump, gave him shivers and brought some butterflies to his stomach.

"Get the fuck away from me you pervert!"

Klaus pushed Dorian away and of course by now every little horny man was walking towards them with their weapons ready to strike.

"I'm going to beat you up for this thief."

Klaus aimed to the nearest little creature. But the instant he was ready to shoot, an arrow appeared on the creatures head, and it fell dead to the floor.

Dorian jumped with a squeak and started looking for the arrow source, finding none. Then both of them looked how even more arrows arrived and kept killing all the creatures in record time.

However in middle of the blood bath the fist horny guy that fell suddenly got up to his feet and started approaching Klaus and Dorian again.

"What the fuck is going on! Major they are zombies!" Dorain gasped.

Klaus did not say anything and just started shooting to the creature that was coming his way. Klaus did not even bother with the fact that Dorian was hugging him tightly from behind. He did, however, bother with it once everything was over.

"Get your filthy hands off of me, Eroica; you're giving me the willies!" Klaus pushed Dorian away from him once again, and visibly had the willies he was talking about.

"Major, I was just protecting myself! ... you pervert…" murmured Dorian, shaking his head in a faked disapproving manner.

Just when the Major decided it was time to get rid of Eroica once and for all, a female voice stopped them on their tracks. Both men forgot about the source of the arrow shower that actually saved their lives. When both of them turned to the source of the voice, they were met with two very sharp arrows pointing at each of them.

"Who are you?"

Her voice was commanding, but also curious. She was a tall brunette (like two inches below Dorian), with her hair in a ponytail. She was using a leather armor which was mainly covering her chest, for her hips there was only a little skirt which was surely there only for modesty. She also wore some knee boots, a right thigh knife holster, and wrist protectors. She had some sort of a backpack from which protruded some arrows, and of course she was in a combat standing with her bow and two arrows pointed at the two men. All in all, she looked like somebody from the ninth, tenth, or eleventh century.

"Travelers, and we are not dangerous"

It was best if people did not know you had no idea of what is going on, otherwise they assumed they could take charge of everything, Klaus did not give the charge to anybody unless the person was of higher rank **or** they had the personality of somebody he could trust.

Despite the statement, she did not lower her weapon.

"I can see that, strangers. How come you're alive? You don't even know how to fight. Is one of you the sorcerer that made those sounds?"

_Sorcerer?! You mean like magic from Cinderella stories?_

"Why yes Lady huntress!"

Dorian gave his most charming smile to which the woman expressed surprise.

"I'm Dorian, the sorcerer of the party, I also am knowledgeable in weapons of this kind" said Dorian pointing at the arrow pointing at him "including crossbows, throwing knifes and hand combat knifes, and even though still an apprentice; a sorcerer with a rather magical future."

By this time the woman had her bow pointing at the ground looking at Dorian in admiration. While Klaus starred at him in disbelieve and trying not to make his eyes pop out of his face.

_Please you idiot, don't mess this up!_

"A sorcerer with ranged attack skills?" then she furrowed her eyebrows "where are your weapons?"

"Oh, I really need to improve my magical skills, if I have my other weapons, I will hardly learn anything!"

Understanding showed in her face, and nodded.

"And who is your companion?"

Dorian turned to Klaus, flashing his smile everywhere and gave him a wink.

"He is Sir Eberbach a friend that decided to follow me, he is a knight, an expert swordsman, elegant combat skills with any weapon, very strong, and even though rough in his treatment, has a celestial heart."

To this she did not show much credibility, but let it slip.

"Unorthodox, but then I guess if you know how to defend yourself anyway you can, you're good to go." And after a moment she added. "So I guess you guys are just a mix of everything?"

"Yes, received some lessons here, autodidacts over there, practice with each other, we have to survive somehow."

Klaus so that she wasn't buying it all, but she also did not seem to care.

"Why didn't you guys fight?"

"As you might have seen before, we have quite a discrepancy on that matter with my friend here, it costs us everything we had in a previous battle we had with a bigger group of these nuisances of creatures. He wants to just rip them off, while I want to practice, we never get to an agreement until it is too late."

Dorian pushed his hair out of the way, knowing very well it had beautiful effect against the sun, even thought there was none it still looked amazingly sexy. To which she gave a nod of acknowledgement

_Good, the Dieb did it. _

She then smiled "Yes, Fallen ones are quite the pain in the butt." After which her smile started to fade quickly "Just one of the horrific creatures corrupted by evil that started to spread through these landscapes. And these demons found a way to raise their dead again. That's why you should always eliminate the shaman first, you know, their leader, and then kill the Fallen ones, otherwise, they will just keep wakening up again and again."

Dorian and Klaus just looked at each other during her little tale, not knowing if to consider her mentally unhealthy or to believe the fact that they were in place pretty much similar to hell.

"Come, we have to see if the Falles ones had something usefull with them. You say you guys lost everything? Then you guys can take everything you find and can carry, I can also help you by putting it in my packpack, so you can trade it in our camp."

With that they started inspecting all the corpses.

Dorian asked about the camp.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Elexa and I am a sister, from the rogue encampment. We are a small occupation that once used to be a small town. After our monastery was attacked, we are the only ones in the area that still survives, we do everything we can to stay alive, but it is ever more difficult with each passing day. I am not very familiar with the cause of all this madness, but I invite you to our humble camp to know our leaders and maybe you could help us in fighting off the evil that surrounds us."

_Perfect_

"We would be most honored Elexa Where is it?" asked Klaus who was full with axes, swords, and clubs; while Dorian had throwing knifes, all the money (little coins made of gold) and a jewel, which he would identify later, and Elexa was helping them to carry a leather armor.

"Oh, it is far from here, but no worries, I have a portal here, you guys have everything you need?"

She took out a little parchment, read something in it and a oval-shaped door appear in front of them, its color was a bright blue, just like the color through which Klaus an Dorian went in the cave.

_So it **was **a portal._

"Does this go anywhere you want?" asked Klaus

"No, only to the camp."

Both men just nodded, and followed the rogue through the portal.


	4. Dorian the Sorcerer

When they crossed the portal, they came to a rather large camp. It was exactly like in he movies that depicted ancient times, with the difference that everybody here minded their own business, and did not paid any attention to the two strangers what so ever. Of course, there wasn't any electricity, or any kind of modern machinery, aside from the array of weapons that absolutely everyone was carrying, even the kids in their teen years carried their swords and armor. It was obvious they were at some kind of war which Elexa described previously, and it looked like it was more serious than they thought.

_Civilization at last… I think. At least they are humans, that will have to do for now._

"All right gentlemen, you must be very tired, why don't you get yourself comfortable in the hut next to mine, since it was unoccupied this morning by other travelers. In about two hours or so, I can then present you to the leaders of this camp, Kashya and Akara. Also, you can go just straight this path and get to Charsi, who will trade your items."

"Sounds like a plan, thank you so much!"

They headed to the hut Elexa indicated them and put all their newly acquired items on the floor. Then with a sight the Major just sat down at what looked a bed with sheets that apparently people used to sleep, he noticed it was not as hard as it looked, but hard nonetheless. Aside from a small table the hut did not have anything else in it.

"We are so screwed."

Now what were they supposed to say to the leaders? Was there any punishment for lying? Klaus read in books that the medieval times were rather bloody and nobody got off without their fare share of pain if they did not have money, reputation or good family relationships.

"Oh sweetie, don't worry, look."

Dorian took a book from under his now rather dirty shirt and gave it to Klaus.

"What is it?"

"A history book. We can get to know what is really going on and therefore not sound like we have no idea what's going on. I also noticed there are some maps, so we can figure out a place from where we could be traveling from."

Klaus, just looked at him.

_When he wants to, he actually can get the job done pretty well._

"Where did you get it?"

Dorian just rolled his eyes and waived his hand in dismissal.

"I'm a thief remember? I took it from a woman in a purple robe that was passing by."

Now that Dorian cheered him up a little bit, Klaus was ready to get to work, but then he remembered to do two more things.

"Why didn't you tell me as soon as we stepped in the tent?"

"Major, it's not always I get to see you hoping for me to get all the answers, I have to savor those rare moments."

"You're a man of pure malice."

Klaus started to look for his cigarettes, realizing he had none. This was not a good time to quit. Then he stood up, action which Dorian followed and expected the Major to start ordering him around when the Major put his left hand to his right shoulder.

Dorian just looked to his shoulder.

"Major, what's ... uhh!"

The major gave him a not so painful soccer punch right in his belly. After what Dorian did with the book, he couldn't bring himself to hit him with his full force. Dorian just hold on to the Major, while he patiently explained him he was receiving his punishment.

"You slow me down in the chase for Culebra, you don't let me fight properly against that horny man, you start pawing me in the middle of a battle, and now I have to rely on you to make a good impression with the leaders of a forsaken god-knows-where-in-the-world camp!"

Then Klaus took the still gasping Dorian by the collar of his dirty shirt, while Dorian hold on to his wrists.

"Listen, you are the one that is going to talk, if you mess this one up, I swear I will throw you personally to those demons to devour, understood?"

Dorian started to recuperate from his punishment, to begin to fully grasp what the Major had said, and to think about a good answer that will leave the Major satisfied all of this in mere seconds. Dorian, cleared his throat.

"Yes Major, I understand."

Then he gently pushed aside the still clutching hands off of his collar, and arranged his shirt neatly.

"I will talk to the leaders, fill their heads with invented facts about our heroic deeds, make them trust us, and see if they can help us get another portal back to our world."

Klaus was satisfactorily nodding his head at the description of Dorian's to do list for their little conference.

"Correct."

The Dorian shot him with the sunshine smile of his.

"And we will sleep together tight and warm tonight."

"Corr… get to work you fucking pervert."

Klaus started selecting the best weapons and armor for him and Dorian, while the jewel and the rest was going to get traded at what-was-her-name.

"Read that stupid book, and get all our imaginary lives straight. I want a full report, the plan for the conference, and a good summary of whatever useful facts you get out of that book. In the meantime I'll trade this stuff at the blacksmith and see around to learn whatever I can from this place and time. If there are any doubts concerning your work you'll do right now, confirm with me when I come back."

Klaus then looked inside his suit and gave Dorian a pen.

"Oh thank you, so thoughtful of you!"

"Use it wisely. And you can get that armor off, I have one here that looks stronger and in a better condition."

"Aye, aye sir. Oh, and one more thing."

Klaus looked up to Dorian from his current selection of weapons.

"The very nice lady also had this other book, its about magic, if we're lucky maybe I can learn some, I'm a sorcerer remember?"

Klaus just looked back to his duties. "Whatever, but pull a practical joke on me and you're dead meat."

"Major, I don't think this is just tricks." Dorian started flipping through the old book. "I believe this is real magic, like supernatural and stuff."

The major did not respond to that but got off the tent. "I'll be back in an hour, don't go off wandering somewhere, just wait for me here."

"Ok!"

_Gee, we're starting to look like a married couple, finally some progress._

KDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKD KDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKD

"Start talking."

Klaus said while getting in the tent, Dorian noticed that he was wearing another sturdy armor.

"Oh, hello there Major." Dorian cleared his throat, and described all that he learned, while Klaus put aside some new weapons, and sat down next to him.

"Apparently we're in year 1200. They do not seem to have a specific chronology, but we're somewhere there. According to the book, we are in a world called Sanctuary, so it comes without saying that we are indeed in another dimension of place and time."

Dorian allowed a moment for the idea to sink in and kept going.

"But… We are in so much luck because the book does not have much information about what is going on, so they only have speculations and guesses. What it does say is that twenty years ago a town named Tristram was attacked by monsters that apparently appeard from within a so called Horadric monastery this town had. The book says it was Diablo that did that, but then he was killed by a hero shortly after that. The book also guesses that Diablo might be one of the three prime evils that were banished from hell by lesser evils. After that more monsters got to attack the Rogue Monastery or more specifically the Sisterhood of the Sightless Eye. The rogues that managed to escape built this camp."

"From Tristram to the Rogue Monastery, what path is that?"

"East, all the trades are stuck at the monastery, luckily for us this book is very current, and apparently this has been going for just the past twenty years. Now concerning us, we can say that we are friends that are planning to take this evil force down."

"This is non of our business Eroika, although we can use that excuse to get them to help us."

Dorian just sighted at that. _Weren't you supposed to be a hero that saves everybody else's lives?_

"I really thing we should help them, you have a weapon remember? Something tells me that we can put it to a good use."

Klaus did not want to have a debate about helping them or not, right now, so he just urged Dorian to continue.

"Anyway, we can tell them that we are from Kehjistan, and tell them that we traveled all over the place, getting all kinds of skills from all kinds of backgrounds."

"Yeah, from what I've seen so far, they do not seem to care actually."

"Oh and you cannot be a paladin, you're more suited to be a barbarian that has some paladin traits. I'll be an expert marksman that is learning magic."

"You don't know any magic."

"Actually, according to sorcerer's book magic is very common here. You just to have a lot of time on your hands and not stop practicing, it is something like learning to play an instrument." Then with a motion of his hand, Dorian "threw" a tiny ball of fire flame to Klaus. The major did not have to worry, since the flame had died in mid path. But Klaus just starred at the happily grinning Dorian for a moment.

"No way … do that again."

Dorian did, but this time, the little ball did reach Klaus, but disappeared as soon as it touched Klaus.

"So, the change of realities changed our nature to accommodate us and maybe help us survive." said the major thoughtfully.

"Yes, although like I said, the book indicates it takes a lot of practice, I think I can pull a decent act with just this."

Klaus saw too many things that are not supposed to exist today, that finding out that Dorian may be a sorcerer was not so surprising after all. He just took a deep breath and tried to concentrate with the matters at hand.

"What else do you know about barbarians?" Klaus would start to get into his role real soon so he could give a good impression.

"Not much actually, but they fit you more than a paladin because they are not ruthless but rather strong and imposing fighters while paladins are all about faith and goodness. Besides, we are not really any of these types of people but a mix, so you don't have to stick strongly to one of them."

"Damn it Dorian, tell me something about their history and not stuff I already know." Klaus growled at Dorian, _I hate it when people want to converse when I have stuff to do._

Rolling his eyes and with a sigh Dorian complied "All right, all right, barbaric clans come from northern steppes, which is north from Kehjistan our last stop. The book does not know much about them only that the barbarians do not like intruders in their territory and few dare to even trade with them."

"All right, that will do, we'll be just hippies that go from place to place because we're stupid like that."

Klaus never liked the idea of being a vagabond, it reminded him of gypsies with in turn reminded him of Turks and that reminded him of the stingy bug. Not pleasant at all.

Dorian only chuckled at that while he put the books in one of their backpacks that Elexa gave them.

"While I was trading some weapons and armor, I got to know Charsi, the Blacksmith here. I believe you're going to like her, she's all cuddly and stuff."

"Lovely, we should definitely get friends and stuff." Dorian said.

"What did she tell you?"

"She said she would love to adventure like we do, but she loves being blacksmith as well. That girl is huge, her arms are bigger than mine."

Dorian raised an eyebrow at that _Hmm… so not very patriarchic this place is it?_

"She also said that her parents were barbarians but does not know anything about them because they were killed when she was young. She was telling me how Diablo attacked Tristram, but then when other monsters attacked the Rogue monastery, Andariel who is some kind of a lesser evil corrupted some of the rogues and they followed the path of evil instead and turned against their own sisters."

"So the stories agree, this is going to be a piece of cake, I'm telling you."

Smiled Dorian, already thinking about how he is going to be able to take advantage of the major's gratefulness, because he was tired of not asking anything in return when dealing with life threatening favors. He was going to charge every single favor he had done for this soldier.

"One more thing, Kashya the leader of the rogues is going to be uncomfortable if not hostile towards us, but Charsi said we should not get bothered by that, she's always like that toward strangers."

Dorian only nodded, "Good, Elexa should be coming soon, I'll wait out side."

"Yeah let's go"

KDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKD KDKDKDKDKDKDKDKDKD

"I am Akara, High Priestess of the Sisterhood of the Sightless Eye. I welcome you, travelers, to our camp, but I'm afraid I can offer you but poor shelter within these rickety walls."

Klaus and Dorian were inside Akara's hut. It was bigger than theirs and had many books, weapons, and what looked like potions. Klaus also noticed the slight enlargement of Dorian's eyes when he saw the priestess, and as soon as Klaus saw that she was wearing an expensive looking purple robe, he knew where the books came from. Luckily it did not look like she noticed their absence yet.

"Thank you Akara, we are more than thankful for your friendly welcome." said Dorian as aristocratically as possible. After all, sometimes the correct attitude can substitute many words.

"I'm Dorian, and this is Klaus, we're travelers of mixed abilities. I'm skilled in ranged weaponry and currently I'm trying to learn sorcery, while Klaus has barbaric skills and is currently learning the ways of the paladin."

Klaus wanted to smack the thief in the spot, luckily Akara did not seem to be preoccupied with whether they were telling the truth or not. Also, Akara was not the only one there; another red haired woman whom the men thought to be Kashya never presented herself. She had a long red cloak, high knee boots, thigh knife holster and what looked like a tiny dress made of metal.

__"You see, our ancient Sisterhood has fallen under a strange curse. The mighty Citadel from which we have guarded the gates to the East for generations, has been corrupted by the evil Demoness, Andariel.  
I still can't believe it... but she turned many of our sister Rogues against us and drove us from our ancestral home. Now the last defenders of the Sisterhood are either dead or scattered throughout the wilderness."

"So we have seen, and we offer ourselves in any help we can give."

_That's it, I'm throwing him to the demons._

Klaus shot a deadly stare at Dorian and said "Akara, do you know anything about portals to other places not necessarily in this world? As travelers, we want to explore every place possible."

"Well, there are town portals of course and waypoints, but I do not know of any portals to other worlds other than the ones monsters come out of."

"One more thing" Dorian took out the sapphire dragon he had and showed it to Akara. "Do you happen to recognize this?"

Akara took it, inspected it and then returned it shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, I never seen it before, although it is a very nice piece of art."

They just nodded.

"There is a place of great evil in the wilderness. Kashya's Rogue scouts have informed me that a cave nearby is filled with shadowy creatures and horrors from beyond the grave.  
I fear that these creatures are massing for an attack against our encampment. If you are sincere about helping us, find the dark labyrinth and destroy the foul beasts."

_Well, it doesn't look like she will cooperate otherwise, and if we go in search of our portal, we'll find those monsters anyways, so why not?_

"Ok, we'll go tomorrow in the morning."

Dorian bought some red and blue potions that Klaus noticed people carried around a lot, some scrolls for teleportation. The kind priestess told them that in an hour or so, dinner will be served to everyone, and that they are welcome to stay at the fire for conversation if desired.

And with that, they were off to their hut again.


End file.
